Showing posts with label Texas sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Texas sports. Show all posts

Saturday, December 25, 2021

HAVE PEN, WILL TRAVEL: PART TWO

Memoirs of a Freelance Journalist

From Unemployment Scrambling to Credible Magazine Freelancing 

 Although my schedule seemed busy as I entered 1981, my first complete year of freelancing would add new levels of understanding and opportunity. I had ambitions beyond editing a racquetball magazine and stringing for Time. I wanted to produce actual magazine articles for pay. And my early successes in that pursuit would introduce me to several fundamental freelancing concepts destined to secure my business model: Recycling, compensation strategies and clip files.

In my office at Ampersand in 1981.

Recycling refers simply to the process of selling the same basic story to multiple publications. While that might sound almost fraudulent in the age of the Internet, recycling ranked as a cornerstone of freelancing in the 1980s, and standard writer’s contracts accounted for the possibility. In those days, freelancers usually sold only the right for first North American publication. Rights to the research and the article reverted to me, for example, after a magazine had published it. Some contractual exceptions included so-called “work-for-hire”—as when Time paid me by the hour for research or Ampersand paid $1,500 per month for a general job description of editorial services like a part-time employee.

Editors, of course, preferred to have the most exclusive rights possible, but they had little leverage on the standard contracts purchasing what they called “First North American Serial Rights.” If one found an exact copy of an article in a rival publication, he likely could decline to buy anything else from that freelancer again. In those days, however, editors lacked the access to other publications available today. Nevertheless, a smart freelancer would at least work to rewrite an article sold to different publications, emphasizing an angle separate from the theme of the initial publication.

Recycling proved a cost-effective business strategy because research comprises the lion’s share of the time involved in completing any article—at least 80 percent or more for someone who can write acceptable first-draft manuscripts. And I was that guy—a master of the first-draft. The basic facts of a recycled article remain the same, with only the need for a bit of updating on occasion.

My first true magazine article emerged as an example of recycling, and there would be several more in 1981. My opportunity arose, once again, in an unexpected way. In October of 1980, I had been interviewed by Dallas freelance writer Hugh Aynesworth for a story he was writing on assignment for Westward, the Sunday magazine of the Dallas Times-Herald newspaper. A veteran of Texas journalists, Hugh became an inspiration to me as a freelancer when he arrived at my apartment in a coat and tie to interview me about a newsworthy adventure in my life from earlier in the year, one that would become the subject for my memoir written in 2009. His Westward article in 1981 would be the first real magazine article on my personal escapade beyond the standard newspaper articles chronicling the events as they occurred in Houston. Hugh explained that the Times-Herald had decided to enhance its Sunday magazine by boosting its freelance budget and recruiting writers who could provide interesting articles from anywhere in the state. 

This interview marked the first time I had encountered a credible professional journalist actually working as a freelancer. Sixteen years my senior, Hugh already ranked as a legendary Texas newsman from his work at The Dallas Morning News where he had covered the Kennedy assassination. Later in the 1980s he would continue to attract attention for books and other journalistic endeavors including research about serial killers Ted Bundy and Henry Lee Lucas. While he interviewed me about my case in 1980, I interviewed him about the craft of freelancing and asked if he thought Westward might assign anything to me despite my pending appearance as a primary source for his article. He referred me to the editor, Mark Ivancic, who encouraged me to submit some article ideas.

I responded with my first formal freelance queries, listing topics from my ideas inventory and summarizing my expectation for what each finished story might include. Mark immediately assigned me to research and write my idea about lost treasure—an updating of a lengthy feature I already had written once while at The Houston Post in 1976. Inspiration for the 1976 version of “True Treasure Tales” had come while browsing a magazine stand and noticing a group of magazines designed to attract treasure seekers. Their articles included famous tales of lost treasures, such as Arizona’s Lost Dutchman gold mine.

Several of these magazines identified their editor as John “Long John” Latham with editorial offices in nearby Conroe, Texas. So, I interviewed Latham and wrote a Post feature about Latham’s five best true treasure tales—the treasures he believed real enough to pursue if he wanted to invest time and money in a search. The Post had published my feature March 4, 1976, across half-a-page under the headline: “Publishers find rich gold tales in Texas, Southwest.”  

Now, in 1980, I called Latham again to make sure he was still alive and to see if any of his favorite treasure mysteries had been solved. Using most of the information I had gathered for The Post five years earlier, I wrote my new version for Westward, which published it in March of 1981 under the title “A TROVE OF TALL TALES OF LOST FORTUNE AND GREED” and paid me $750 for my first legitimate magazine byline. In the true spirit of recycling, of course, I was not finished with Latham yet. I was destined to sell his story yet again in 1983 for $1,000 to the editor of the Muse Airlines Monthly under the title “TALES OF HIDDEN TREASURE: John Latham built a publishing firm on rumors of gold, silver and other treasures hidden in the Southwest, Or, so the story goes.” You can read a full copy of the Muse version in my blog post from 2019.



Ironically, I achieved my own byline in Westward before Hugh’s article about me appeared in June of 1981. And I added another in August with publication of an article assigned specifically by Ivancic, profiling the East Texas town of Sour Lake and its sad history of overreach during the first days of the oil industry at the turn of the century.

Thus, by agreeing to an interview with Hugh Aynesworth in 1980, I had stumbled into another opportunity destined to provide regular income for the next three years, until the Times-Herald decided to cancel inhouse publication of a Sunday magazine and killed Westward. But not before I had recycled some other works, including that article I had done for Ampersand’s banking publication about the professor who appeared to be an expert on anything. My Westward version ran in June of 1982 under the title: “CALL HIM DR. KNOW-IT-ALL.”

Recycling, of course, works both ways, and I would manage to rewrite some original Westward articles for other publications later in the decade. One was a profile of legendary high school football coach Gordon Wood and another was an article about regular citizens who had become heroes by risking their own lives to save a stranger in danger. Another notable story updated and recycled something I had written at The Post years before, profiling several female prison inmates who had given birth while incarcerated.

Another example of recycling provided my second legitimate magazine byline with the April 1981 publication of a story about two Houston racquetball stars in a fledgling magazine called Texas Sports. I had discovered Texas Sports during one of my regular expeditions to browse the publications at a newsstand, an activity I pursued to scout opportunities rather than reading material. Although I had never worked as a sports writer during my newspaper career, sports always had been a subject of great interest to me. I had played sports all my life and in college had been elected athletic chairman for my dormitory, a position requiring me to organize the dorm’s participation in all kinds of intramural sports contests.

Embracing my desire to add sports to my portfolio of freelancing subjects, I fired off several queries to the editor, and he replied immediately with a list of assignments. Drawing on my experiences covering the Houston racquetball scene for Southwest Racquetball magazine, I immediately drafted an article about two young players I’d covered for my part-time job as editor there, effectively recycling a lot of material already in hand. I followed with an article published in June profiling the trainer for the Houston Astros, expanding on some comments he had made to sports writers at The Houston Post about his ultra-modern training techniques.

A more ambitious assignment concerned my suggestion to identify the ten best high school football coaches in Texas for the magazine’s fall edition. In my query I explained a scheme to contact a list of the nation’s top college coaches and interview them anonymously about their views of Texas high school coaches. The magazine loved that idea, but I had no way to be sure I could persuade the college coaches to share their opinions. I was pleasantly surprised to find them eager to provide lists based on their experiences recruiting players from Texas. I added interviews with them about the importance of solid high school coaching and tips about the qualities they sought in recruits, so their programs received attention in the article without disclosure of their selections.

My top coaches article ran in the August 1981 edition of Texas Sports and included brief profiles of each high school coach with interviews about their techniques. In the process, this article introduced me to a legendary Texas coaching figure named Gordon Wood, who surprisingly ranked as the coach with the most wins at any level in the country. Wood had been named number one on every survey form returned by my college coaching sources. I immediately recognized Wood as a subject for wider circulation and contacted Ivancic at Westward to pitch him on a larger story about the coach.

The magazine paid my travel expenses to spend a weekend in Brownwood, Texas, attending a practice and a game with Wood and the Brownwood High Lions. Westward published my story on Wood in November of 1981, and I kept my notes so I could recycle Gordon Wood several more times in the years ahead for other general interest magazines.



Texas Sports became another regular source of income with assignments that included coverage of the tryouts for the Oilers’ Derrick Dolls cheerleading squad (August 1981), a story about the famous Astrodome baseball scoreboard (October 1981) and profiles of prominent Astros Art Howe (April 1982) and Jose Cruz (June 1982). Although the magazine failed to last very long, I ranked as a frequent contributor and thoroughly enjoyed the assignments.

I recall interviewing Cruz in a dugout at the Dome during a practice when he saved me from a foul ball I didn’t see. I telephoned Howe’s little league coach in Pennsylvania to collect some anecdotes on his early development. I also used the assignments to stimulate my imagination for the generation of other ideas I might pitch to publications in the future.

Looking back on these publication dates 40 years later, I’m astounded to see how busy I must have been, juggling the magazine stories with assignments from Time and monthly publication of Southwest Racquetball amidst the hectic life of a single dad supervising daughters aged six and three. Of course, I was just 34 years old at that time, but I still wonder: How did I do it all? Reflecting on these events at the age of 74 provides a boost to my self-esteem I guess I had taken for granted over the years.

Clearly fear and responsibility ranked as primary motivation for all the hustle. When I recall the pressures of my chaotic private life during those months, I also can see that the work schedule likely emerged as the refuge I needed to maintain my sanity through a year climaxed with a five-day child custody jury trial in September.

My mother died of cancer on March 14, 1981, at the age of 62 in my parents’ home in St. Louis, Missouri, some 1,200 miles away from me in Houston. My 59-year-old father would follow her to the grave three years later, also from cancer. Her death in the midst of all the changes in my life had minimal emotional impact on me. We had never been close, and I had lived away from home since leaving for college in 1965. I was not religious. But one of my deepest life regrets remains my failure to visit her after her diagnosis in 1980.

My dad himself had suffered a stroke in 1977, so both parents were infirm miles away while I was wrestling my own issues in Houston. One of my sisters worked as a lawyer in Denver. But the other one was fifteen years younger and still living at home with my parents while finishing high school. She had to grow up fast in that house where she assumed control at too young an age. She would go on to become a banking executive without attending college. I felt confident in her ability to continue handling things for our dad in his final years so I didn’t contribute anything besides some smart-aleck commentary.

Sitting with my dad and sisters while the funeral director pitched casket selections for my mom, I remember replying, “I believe people should rot where they fall.” Such was my emotional state at the time, that I never cried during her service. I needed to get home where my ex-wife was crossing a milestone in her own life.

She called out of the blue one day to announce a religious conversion that included allegiance to a minister who lived on some sort of collective in Wimberly, Texas, about 150 miles west of Houston, near Austin. She had decided to leave her job as a child welfare caseworker and move there. And she wanted to take our daughters with her. She insisted she no longer would recognize the temporary custody order I had secured a year before while she resided in a mental hospital. I responded by denying her visitation, and the fight was on.

Borrowing money from her dad, she hired an attorney and quickly learned that my order indeed gave me the power to deny her visitation. So, in June she filed to vacate the order and began a battle to win full custody for her planned relocation to Wimberly. My attorney was a friend from my days covering courts for The Post. Aware of my financial challenges, he agreed to defend our court order and argue for my appointment as permanent custodial parent for just $5,000. I still had to borrow that from my dad.

But I believed I had no choice except to fight for the girls. They both seemed to be stable and well. I had made plans to shift Erin to a different school for first grade for more convenient transportation. Her grades painted the picture of a girl excelling in the district’s Vanguard program for gifted students. At the same time, Shannon continued at the same Montessori program she had attended since infancy.

Since her release from the hospital in October of 1980, their mother had enjoyed split custody with my blessing, the girls living in her apartment on weekends and at my place during the week. For the first time in several years, our lives seemed stable. We were catching our breath from a period of domestic turmoil. Their mom even seemed to experience tranquility with the arrangement. I have to laugh now recalling that a religious conversion would disrupt tranquility rather than secure it.

Still, eager to make sure a custody fight would serve our interests best, I hired a long-time friend who worked as a private investigator while attending law school to research the religious group in Wimberly. His reports reaffirmed my suspicion that a shift to a farming commune would create a detrimental shock, regardless of their mother’s presence with them. At the urging of a new girlfriend, I scheduled therapy appointments for both girls as much to use as evidence in the coming trial as to show me if they were suffering emotionally from our new life. Their therapist would eventually tell jurors during our five-day trial in September that “the older one is thriving with life the way it is. He shouldn’t change a thing.”

I did not mention two of Erin’s major accomplishments. Under my supervision, she had learned to make a Scotch and water to deliver to me without spilling it: ice, cheap Scotch poured to a level of two fingers on the glass and tap water on top. In addition, she had helped me play darts in a bar called the Hard Times Soup Kitchen by serving as the chalker on the scoreboard, standing on a chair and improving her subtraction skills by marking the scores down from 501.

Asked about my career during the trial, I was able by September 1981 to testify that my freelance business was doing much better than expected, easily well enough to support the three of us without any financial support from their mother. Ampersand’s $1,500 per month retainer provided a financial base, and I showed I had managed to supplement at least another $500 from Time and the various magazine assignments. In contrast, I estimated my monthly expenses at $1,454 including $300 for the Montessori school, $285 for rent, $212 on my car payment and $200 for groceries.

The trial ended with jurors voting 10-2 in my favor. They asked to meet with us after the verdict to explain their decision. Speaking for the group, one woman asked if there was any chance we could find a way to stay together. She said jurors had been impressed with both of us, but thought the girls would benefit more from the stability I was providing in Houston. I laughed and told them thanks for their careful consideration. I promised their mother would have all the visitation she could handle in an effort to ensure the girls continue their relationship with her. Then I asked the judge for $40 per month in child support, just for the principle.

Their mother left Houston quickly after the trial and lived in Wimberly for about a year. In a telephone conversation in July of 1982, she would thank me for preventing her from taking the girls with her. The commune apparently did not work out well for her. But she did remarry, have another child and would move back to Houston a decade later, buying a house near me and rebuilding her relationship with our daughters. By then, I had built my freelancing business model into a satisfactory economic foundation for their future.

Despite the regular income from Ampersand, Time, Westward and Texas Sports, I continued searching for new opportunities by reviewing a wide range of magazines even while preparing for the custody trial. During this period, I landed another assignment destined to become a regular income generator for the next 15 years. It occurred when I had purchased a magazine called Writer’s Digest and reviewed its classified ads. I responded to a couple with my resume and quickly received a call from an executive in Tulsa at the headquarters of the American Association of Petroleum Geologists (AAPG), the world’s largest organization for those professionals.

He explained that the AAPG wanted to produce a monthly newspaper for its members that would include legitimate news stories about the oil industry alongside announcements of important meetings and briefs about geological research papers. He wanted me to research


and write the first article as his Houston correspondent about the growing interest from Canadian investors in Texas oil ventures. Beginning with publication of that article in November of 1981, the
AAPG Explorer newspaper would carry at least one byline from me every month for the next 15 years.

At the same time, I discovered an opportunity in corporate communications with Shell Oil Company’s US headquarters in Houston. Besides reading magazines and following classified ads, I had used the telephone to contact other Houston-based writers advertising in the telephone book to learn if they had extra work to toss my way in exchange for a referral fee. I quickly learned that most of the listings for “writers” were either disconnected or served as income tax expense deductions for individuals who received complementary listings to purchase an official business line. Did writers actually advertise in the Yellow Pages and find work that way? I found a couple of listings for individuals who sought work on pamphlets but no journalists. One of them noted my journalism background and suggested I contact his acquaintance at Shell, who worked as the editor for Shell’s monthly inhouse news magazine titled Shell News.

My timing proved perfect. That editor, Eldon Libby, responded immediately to my inquiry with an assignment, noting that his primary freelancer had just moved out of town. Libby assigned me to produce a three-story cover package for the June 1981 edition of Shell News about the company’s efforts to navigate a political landscape where state governments enjoyed increasing regulatory authority. The package included an overview article titled “Meeting Challenges of the New Federalism” and profiles of two Shell executives involved in lobbying.

While a few months earlier I might have scoffed at this work as propaganda since Shell controlled the final result, I still received some journalistic satisfaction from the interviews and writing. I gained great respect for Libby and would continue to take assignments from him several times each year. A few years later my Shell connection would cost me a big assignment from Time, which considered me for researching a major article on Shell, then gave it to someone else after learning I had earned fees from the company as a freelancer.

Another random contact introduced me to the previously unknown world of in-flight magazines when I chatted with him in a bar. At that time Kent Demaret was a former newspaper reporter teaching journalism at the University of Houston. I bought him a drink and asked him about his freelancing career, which he said had lasted ten years after his former newspaper folded.

“Ten years?” I asked in astonishment. “If I can do this for ten years I’ll be amazed. Who paid you for articles?”

Demaret laughed and said, “Magazines are out there. Just look. You know, all the airlines have monthly magazines to give to their passengers to read while in-flight. They don’t employ staff, so everything is written by freelancers. They pay well and the editors are always in the market for good, general interest ideas. No controversial or investigative stuff, but you can still write some fun articles and add income.”

Then he rummaged into his briefcase and produced a recent edition of the in-flight magazine he’d carried home from a trip to Dallas. He handed it to me so I could find the contact information inside.

Sufficiently informed, I referred to my list of article ideas and contacted the editor of Southwest Airlines Magazine with several suggestions. He liked the one about the Houston


resident who collected old political buttons—the same “collectors” story I had written for
The Post as a staffer and for Ampersand’s banking client magazine as a freelancer. Southwest’s in-flight published my recycled and updated version in its November 1981 edition under the title “One Man’s Election Collection” in what would be the first of many sales to airline in-flights. Southwest in particular would become a regular client for me throughout several of its incarnations into a magazine titled Southwest Spirit during the next 15 years.

Besides learning the value of recycling stories as I had with the “collectors” and the “treasure hunters,” by the end of 1981 I also boasted a rudimentary understanding of the two other pillars of freelancing I mentioned earlier: compensation strategies and clip files.

Identifying the “customers” in my blossoming business model as editors for a variety of publications, I realized they had various ways of paying for my goods and services, which I identified as story ideas and research. Magazine editors essentially purchased ideas based on their trust that a finished, publishable story would arrive. The standard agreement involved a promise from me to provide the finished product and their promise to pay the agreed fee either upon publication or acceptance. Usually, they also agreed to pay what they called a “kill fee” of some smaller amount if the finished article failed to met their standards.

I learned quickly that once I sold the idea, I likely was 80 percent certain of getting paid in full, unless I missed the deadline or really functioned below the reporting abilities I had polished during the last decade of work on newspapers. Most editors worked on a tight schedule with a budget that did not allow them to create much inventory of articles. They did not want to kill anything assigned because that likely would leave a hole in their monthly production.

For budgeting purposes, they also usually paid according to a schedule that reflected the different sizes of spaces they needed to fill. For example, a magazine like Texas Sports would routinely divide into the same sections each month so regular readers could feel familiar with the publication. Reviewing that magazine’s table of contents page for August of 1981, we find it divided into two primary categories of articles; features and


departments. Under the “Features” heading, we see eight different headlines including two stories with my byline—the story of selection of the Oiler’s cheerleading squad and the story about the state’s best high school football coaches. Meanwhile, the “Departments” heading tops a list of eight other sections with less specific identifications like “From the Press Box,” “College” and “Texas Legends.” My “top coaches” article covered eight pages in the magazine, and I received a standard fee of about $400 for that work. But the articles in the various departments likely paid much less for short treatment, perhaps $50 or $100 for a page in the magazine.

When the editor ordered my stories here, he told me the fee and the length he would need to fill the space in his plan for publication. It would be up to me to make that payment efficient. I quickly determined a fundamental truth of self-employment that I would follow throughout the next 15 years: Regardless of the payment scheme, I am always working for an hourly rate because all I really have to sell is my time. To elaborate, any time an editor offered a fee, I had to estimate how many hours I needed to work to complete that assignment in the same way that a carpenter might estimate the time needed to build a table.

As a fan of The Rockford Files television series, I adopted what I called my Rockford Rule. In quoting his fees, Private Detective Jim Rockford always told prospective clients he charged “$200 per day plus expenses.” That rate equates to $25 per hour for the standard eight-hour workday. In 2021, that would be the equivalent of $75 per hour or $600 per day.

Thus, when agreeing to accept $400 to provide a finished article in 1981, I silently told myself I actually had agreed to provide 16 hours of work on that project. All 16 hours would never occur consecutively because a reporter must schedule interviews at the convenience of the interview subjects. I needed to have four or five different assignments working simultaneously at all times to fill my day. Using the top high school coaches article for an example, once I had identified my interview subjects with my unscientific, informal poll of college coaches, I contacted each to schedule interviews. While it might have taken two weeks to complete my interviews, each interview likely lasted only about half-an-hour. The only true consecutive hourly work on any article would occur with the writing, which for the coaches’ article likely took about three hours because I could generate publishable copy extremely fast, thanks to my newspaper background.

Of course, I adjusted for some exceptions. If I wrangled an assignment from a prestigious magazine, for example, I could afford to spend more time to produce a superior article even if that lowered my hourly rate because the promotional value of that byline could be worth the difference. Time magazine, for example, paid less than $25 per hour, but the connection offered prestige as well as the security of regular work and reliable payments. Also, I realized my alternative likely was earning $5 per hour at a hamburger joint, so anything more than $5 ranked as the best choice for my set of skills.

In practice, over the course of my freelancing career, I’m certain I earned much more than $25 per hour on most stories written for a fee because I could finish them faster than the editors anticipated. My speed emerged as the special sauce in my recipe for freelancing survival.

Besides standard fees, editors also paid according to the measurement of the article they needed. Magazines measured length in terms of words, and some would offer to pay a certain amount per word. Some newspapers paid by the published column inch. But most were still equating those rates to standard budgeted fees. One of my old contracts from one, for example, offered 45 cents per word for 1,000 words—that was going to be $450 no matter how you describe it. Regardless of the payment scheme, however, I was always figuring it on an hourly rate and asking: How much of my precious time does this editor expect me to give him on this particular story?

In addition to learning payment schemes, I also learned the value of maintaining a large collection of clip files in these days before the Internet, when online search engines would place background information at every freelancer’s fingertips. From my days as a newspaper reporter, I understood the value of a well-organized editorial library, or “morgue” as we called it because it held all the dead stories from the past. So much of newspaper reporting involves updating from an older article, using previously reported information so the reader understands the basis for the information that is new. Often as a newspaper reporter I would add three paragraphs of new information to the top of ten paragraphs of an old story and then move along to cover something else.

So, as a freelancer I started clipping articles from newspapers and magazines to build my own personal morgue. I had no way of predicting what clips I might need in the future, but I knew I had to anticipate some subjects that could prove helpful. It started small, with just a couple of filing cabinets. I would clip articles, identify them as topics and place them in folders, believing some day I could use the information to save time researching a story. For example, at the end of the year I clipped the annual big news story roundup published by the city’s two daily newspapers and the weekly Houston Business Journal and filed those in a folder titled “Houston History.”

By the time I stopped freelancing in 1997, I would have an entire room filled with four-drawer, legal-size filing cabinets holding clippings about subjects as varied as “cannibalism” to “securities fraud.” I never had a chance to write a feature on cannibals, but background from The Smithsonian magazine remained in my files, just in case. The extent of my morgue had become so well known by the 1990s that I occasionally received calls from editors just offering to pay me for background information they couldn’t find on their own. Today they just search on Google or Wikipedia for that stuff.

With my custody case decided and my ex-wife relocated to Central Texas, I started feeling more secure by the end of 1981 in both my personal and professional life. I had guaranteed income from Ampersand and Time, plus variable opportunities from several magazines. I compared my business model with the culture of early humans evolving from hunters and gatherers into civilizations. Ampersand and Time ranked as my vegetable garden and chicken coop while the magazines provided big game whenever I could kill it. Unwilling to take the future for granted, however, I continued searching for new opportunities and realized trouble brewing on the horizon with Ampersand.

As managing editor of Southwest Racquetball and Houston HomeTrade Journal, I hired freelancers myself to write articles, while also writing some of the stories, too. But the women running Ampersand had grand ambitions to produce expensive full color magazines, and that required them to generate revenue through advertising. Somewhere they had received an infusion of cash to start the process, so they hired a staff of about four advertising sales associates and a sales manager to crack the whip on that team. The manager reminded me of every used car salesman I had ever encountered.

Ad sales were struggling, and I was not surprised, based on my discussions with sources in the businesses the magazines sought to cover, particularly the Houston racquetball clubs. I noted a fatal flaw in Ampersand’s business plan: They had no serious audience for the racquetball magazine. They distributed it for free to clubs in five states, leaving stacks on the lobby desks for members to take home and read, employing the same strategy as publishers of in-flight magazines for airlines. Unlike passengers on a plane, however, club members had other things to do while using these facilities. They came there to exercise and could not care less to read about it. Ampersand offered a product it could not even give away for free, club employees told me, noting that members rarely took the magazines home. They sat on the counters until a new batch arrived to push last month’s copies into the trash.

Although that era had witnessed a boom in construction of racquetball and exercise clubs, Southwest Racquetball had little to offer beyond coverage of the tournaments conducted regularly at those clubs. And I learned those tournaments attracted only a small percentage of club members. Once I snapped to this reality, I had to laugh. I could provide articles about fitness and strategy, of course, but the niche market for those articles would be narrow as well.

I even asked Joyce about the market research conducted prior to launching the publication. She said she had a friend whose boyfriend claimed racquetball represented a growth industry. Fitness freaks already enjoyed multiple magazines to help fill their research needs. But I soldiered onward, collecting my $1,500 per month and filling the magazines with articles no one ever saw. The sales staff could not sell ads, and their manager, of course, blamed my editorial contributions as not being attractive enough to draw readership. But Ampersand could not verify readership anyway since it just dumped stacks of magazines at clubs hoping members would read them. Besides that, I made sure Joyce approved everything I did and repeatedly told her to suggest new ideas for coverage.

So, it came as no surprise one day in 1982 when Joyce called me into her office for a chat. Ampersand could not afford the magazines any more, she said, so they would “suspend” publication while seeking ideas for new publications. In the meantime, she did not want to lose me. While she could no longer pay me $1,500 per month, she wanted me to continue to use my office in her building for my freelancing business. I politely declined and decided to move my business into my apartment full time. My transition to a home-based operation took my business model to a new level where it would stay until the end.

Within a year in 1983, Ampersand’s building on Shepherd Drive would become a restaurant called Backstreet Café. Whenever I dine or drink there, I wax nostalgic about the building’s role in my freelancing business. Despite the failure of the Ampersand magazines, I’ve remained grateful that the opportunity emerged when it did.

I realized the loss of $1,500 would create a substantial hole in my monthly bankroll, but I had prepared. The experience would always serve to remind me the dangers of taking the future for granted and failing to anticipate unforeseen dangers in business. I would approach every publication as one that could vanish with next month’s advertising sales. But I had learned several important fundamentals destined to help me and my daughters survive and even thrive through self-employment over the next 15 years. Ampersand had helped me build a solid foundation, and I say “Thanks” to Joyce, wherever she might be. 

Developments in my personal life made that transition to a home-based business more efficient. Winning the custody trial in 1981 and watching my ex-wife leave town had provided an expectation of permanence that allowed me to make some changes. From that point forward, I would embrace my role as the head of a household of three, running the business to benefit me and my two daughters.

By March of 1982, we had moved west to the suburbs of Houston’s Sharpstown-Bellaire neighborhood into a sprawling apartment complex on Hillcroft Avenue, leaving the inner city behind. I had transferred Erin into a different public school where she would stay throughout her elementary years and maintain friendships from there with girls who would serve as bridesmaids in her 1999 wedding. Shannon began kindergarten at a public school in the neighborhood, and then she joined her older sister in the Windsor Village Vanguard program after qualifying for first grade in September of 1983. A school bus picked them up near our apartment and delivered them in the afternoon to another public school for daycare, where I would retrieve them by 6 PM—or earlier if my schedule allowed.

During these years, I developed a couple of fairly serious romantic relationships but nothing destined to last. With extra time available for a while in the day time, I started playing guitar, teaching myself to play a repertoire of about 50 songs and forcing my daughters to endure bedtime performances while I covered songs by Dylan, Jackson Browne, Kris Kristofferson, Paul Simon and others plus an assortment of folk classics like “500 Miles” and “Aura Lee.” I became fairly serious about learning new and challenging material and performing it as well as possible.

On the business front I entered the technological revolution by investing about $2,000 on one of the early Apple home computers, using it primarily as a word processor since digital telephone connections remained a couple of years away. The machine clearly improved my ability to edit my writing without “xxx-ing” out parts of sentences as I had to do with my electric typewriter. Once the primitive telephone connections became operational, freelancing would take another giant leap forward. For then, however, I still needed to print stories on paper and send them in the U.S Mail or, for Time, via Western Union.

Even before my break from Ampersand in 1982, I had cultivated additional clientele destined to fill the gap in my revenue stream for the next 15 years. My book deal on the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas legend failed to generate anything more than the $1,000 advance I had received in late 1980. I finished a manuscript in time, but the over-ambitious publisher closed his business and left town for reasons unknown to me. I eventually published the book myself in 2012 under the title I, the People: How Marvin Zindler Busted the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. The real estate developer with the publishing ambitions closed that operation before I could write any follow-up to my book about handling divorce.

But assignments from Time grew more frequent, and I continued to land projects from the usual suspects of Shell News, AAPG Explorer, Westward and Texas Sports. While still editing Southwest Racquetball in late 1981, however, I learned that Houston’s city magazine—called Houston City—was getting new ownership with a new editor. In the past year I hadn’t earned any assignments from the old editor, who had been a rival in our newspaper days from the 1970s. Sensing an opportunity, I mailed a list of story ideas to the new editor, and he took the bait.

At that time, regional magazines ranked as the most prominent publications for writers outside of newspapers. In cities like New York, Boston and Philadelphia, their ability to produce lengthy investigative features and commentary had made them the bright lights of journalism in the 1970s. Founded in 1973, the statewide Texas Monthly had already achieved legendary literary status on a national basis and loomed as the regional behemoth here. But upstarts created in Dallas and Houston had risen by 1980. The golden age of regional magazines would last for the next 20 years before losing out to a number of cost factors that would leave most of them publishing public relations fluff or dying altogether. Of course, New York magazine and Texas Monthly still rank as respected publications, but most of the others resemble only shadows of their former selves.

Although, I viewed these magazines as premier targets for my writing ambitions, I also had been cautious to approach. As a single parent, I needed cash flow more than prominence and feared those magazines would demand excessive amounts of my time. I did not want to blow my opportunities in the prestigious regional magazines marketplace by submitting subpar copy. I lacked the confidence in the beginning to transfer my success in newspaper reporting to legitimate magazines. While newspapers wanted me to make a long story short, magazines sought just the opposite, to make a short story long.

But my success with articles for Westward bolstered my confidence and when David Legge moved from Dallas to helm Houston City, I pounced. An experienced magazine editor, Legge worked for the publishing company that owned the Dallas offering, D Magazine. The company had dispatched him to Houston to remake Houston City in its image. After receiving my article queries, Legge invited me to the Houston City offices and offered a short course on magazine production. Sketching a diagram on a legal pad, he explained what he called the monthly city magazines formula of short department articles, larger feature stories and regular specialty issues through the year.

He liked two of my ideas and assigned them on the spot: Houston’s best poker players and a history of the Astrodome. At this point, these suggestions were just interesting


ideas without any research to show I could produce them. But his confidence boosted my confidence, and the contracts for $1,500 each added incentive. About the time
Southwest Racquetball was serving its final edition, my story on Houston’s poker players appeared in Houston City’s February 1982 issues. My story on the Astrodome would follow in June.

My Rockford Rule on compensation did not apply to Houston City because I believed those bylines to be worth considerably more than $200 per day in promoting my name as a freelancing brand. Nonetheless, I’m sure I earned at least $200 per day on those articles despite the extra time I took for research and the extra attention I gave to the writing. I confided my self-doubts with the magazine’s managing editor after he published the poker story, and he expressed surprise. He assured me I had done a great job “infiltrating that community” he had not even known existed in Houston until he read my draft.

During the next 15 years I would continue to work regularly for Houston City through several changes in personnel and for its successor publication, Houston Metropolitan Magazine. I would learn that editors may come and go, but the beast still needs copy to eat. By the time Fred Rhodes took the wheel about 1985 at City, he would be calling me and beginning the conversation, “I know you’re the man to see when I need a few stories.” He would even offer me a full-time staff position later in the decade, but by then I had come to view those jobs as higher risk than freelancing because of the turnover at the top.

The turnover opportunities would become even more apparent when Gabrielle Cosgriff became editor of the fledgling Houston Metropolitan following the closure of City in 1989. She had been editor for Southwest Airlines’ Spirit in-flight magazine and had used me there extensively from 1984-1988, even paying me a monthly fee to produce a business news column in addition to regular features. While her successor at Spirit wanted to use writers he knew, Gabrielle popped up almost immediately running Houston Metropolitan. She called and said, “You’re doing a business column here, now. And anything else you want to propose.”

So, by 1983 I realized I had been freelancing for more than two years without any time available to even look for a full-time job. I recalled my early conversation with Kent Demaret when I experienced astonishment he had freelanced for a decade. But I had to acknowledge that my efforts so far had succeeded in providing a living for me and my daughters. With Ampersand and its $1,500 monthly payment in the rearview mirror, however, I needed to drive ahead in finding new clients to fill that regular income gap.

In the next couple of years, I would do exactly that, connecting with the trio of publications destined to form the core of my enterprise throughout the rest of its run: Money magazine, The Journal of Commerce (JOC) and The National Law Journal (NLJ). By 1990, those publications would be contributing more than half of my annual income publishing my byline hundreds of times. 

But I wouldn’t find them overnight, and only one of them would enter my life because of specific efforts on my part to connect.

Next in Part Three: Finding my trio of core clients.

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

The Art of Winning

(This post was inspired by a recent question from my oldest daughter. She asked a simple question. But, of course, I delivered a more complicated answer.)

 Have You Ever Won Anything?

I’ve never been one to brag. And I consider boastfulness a vice in other people. When someone launches into a recitation uninvited about their accomplishments, I immediately conclude they must be insecure. I think, “This guy wants to impress me so he must feel unimpressed with himself.” Of course, if someone asks about a contest or competition, I have nothing to hide.

 Now you say you want to know if I have ever won anything. Should I be offended that you haven’t been keeping score on your own? How did you miss all these things I have won? Oh, yeah, I’ve been winning things for 73 years and you’ve only been around for half of that, so I have to excuse you. Moreover, I hope you’ve been concentrating for all those years more on winning some things for yourself instead of a thinking about me. So, since you asked, let me catch you up. My turn to brag?

 But first, let’s really examine the question of winning. Canadian singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell examined that question in 1967 by writing what ranks among my ten most favorite songs: Both Sides Now. Folk rocker Judy Collins covered the song two years later and made it a national hit. I remember analyzing it as a soundtrack inside my head while it played constantly on the radio when I was about to graduate from the University of Missouri in 1969. In Both Sides Now, Mitchell reviews her intellectual development from childhood to young adult as a series of revelations. In the first part, she remembers clouds that resembled “row and flows of angle hair, ice cream castles in the air” and recalls how she first “looked at clouds that way.” But later, she writes, “they only blocked the sun, they rained and poured on everyone, so many things I might have done but clouds got in the way.” As a result, she concludes she had looked at clouds from both sides now, from up and down and still somehow “it’s clouds’ illusions I recall, I really don’t know clouds at all.”

 Next she tackles love, I suppose as a teenager recalling that “dizzy, dancing way you feel as every fairy tale comes real” then contrasting that with the other side that’s made love just “another show, to leave them laughing when you go”—undoubtedly recalling her first heartbreak. She learned to appreciate love from both sides now, she concludes, “from give and take and still somehow, it’s love’s illusions I recall, I really don’t know love at all.”

 Love, of course, is just a part of life, so Mitchell’s third verse addresses the two sides to that bigger picture of life. She concludes: “Well, something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day. I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose and still somehow, it’s life’s illusions I recall, I really don’t know life at all.”

 Thus, like everyone, I’ve had a life of both winning and losing. Reviewing the big picture, I won by fulfilling my potential with a career that both contributed to society and generated economic security. I won by raising two incredible daughters to independent adulthood. I won by helping other people who might not have made it without me. But along the way, I experienced plenty of losing, too. I suffered times when winning in that particular moment seemed more of an illusion for others to enjoy. When I review my life in my memories now, I can’t really find the recollection of a pleasing event that doesn’t also include a twinge of regret, an aspect of failure. But the overall result should still register as a win—and I am recording it as such.

Beyond these intellectual gymnastics about the big picture, however, I do find it appealing to recall more singular contests and competitions where I have won. On several occasions, I won first place when I didn’t even understand I had entered a contest. On other occasions I won by finishing higher than I might have normally expected, going “deep” as they say in a poker tournament for example. Those are wins for me, too. And every time I have been in a competition, win or lose, I’ve endeavored to learn something about myself from each experience. If you can do that, I believe, you’re a winner even when you lose.

But your question obviously focuses more on singular victories, rather than big picture philosophical achievements. Yeah, you know I won the walk of life, but what about that darts tournament in 1983? So, let’s ramble back across the years, have some fun and revisit those golden moments when I did manage to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and savor the adulation of the multitudes while avoiding social scorn. I’ll organize these events in three categories: childhood, professional and individual athletics. Yes, you’ll be sick of all this winning by the time you read to the end.

KID STUFF

Although I don’t recall the sensation, I’m sure competition began for me officially on October 17, 1949—the day my sister was born to start stealing the spotlight in which I had basked as an only child for the previous two and one-half years. So, I’m sure I generated lots of wins in the next few years any time I attracted hugs and kisses away from her. I probably became more aware of my competitive drive about the time I lost interest in winning hugs and kisses, and I recall the thrill of winning a spot as the starting shortstop on a little league team by the age of ten. I also recall the heartbreak of leaving that team before the playoffs due to a severe allergy attack that generated small blisters inside my eyelids that refused to go away. About that same time during elementary school, I collected more wins from my ability as an author of several original plays produced in a primitive way during the fourth and fifth grade. In addition, I also won a fistfight with a bully named Lloyd Weeda during recess, and that made me feel tough. In the summer between my fifth and sixth grade school years, my family moved to a new school district and I found myself winning in the new neighborhood where several little girls confessed to their parents they had crushes on me and were vying for my attention. One of the dads shared this information with my father and started referring to me as “the Sheik of Warson Meadows.” One of those girls lived next door, and she taught me to play chess. So, I also added some wins to my record on the chess board that year.

But my most impressive childhood win by far occurred when I started my new school, Mount Pleasant Elementary, as a sixth grader that fall. This experience would mark the first time I would win first place without even knowing I had entered a contest. As the new kid in a school with two sixth grade classes, I had to make new friends and learn to get along in a new social structure. Despite my reputation as the “Sheik,” I felt the fear and pressure. I maintained a nervous silence while sizing up my new classmates. One big guy tried to bully me until I told a joke that made him laugh. We would go on to become friends for life, so I guess I scored another little win with that confrontation because he certainly would have kicked my ass. But my big win occurred about a month into the year on that day when I had felt so depressed about my new school that I had begged my mother to let me stay home. I told her I wasn’t making any friends, everyone disliked me and I was scared to go.

She sent me anyway, and once I had arrived, I learned we were having an important election for officers of the Schoolboy Patrol. I did not even know about the patrol or what it was supposed to do. When the teacher wrote my name on the board as one of the class nominees, I had to leave the room while she counted votes. When I returned, I learned I had won election as the new Captain of the schoolboy patrol! Several others had been elected lieutenants, but I was chosen to be their boss. I learned my duties would be to organize assignments for guarding the crosswalk between the school and a store across the street during the hours before school and after. I also would be part of the three-person honor guard raising and lowering the American flag on the lawn every day. My bully friend was the elected lieutenant who blew the bugle for the ceremony every morning. When I came home, my mom asked about my day.

“I don’t believe this,” I told her. “They elected me captain of the patrol.”

She smiled and said, “See. Sometimes you really don’t know what people are thinking at all.”

Throughout junior high and high school I had other wins in sports like basketball and football. Of course, I missed a lot of shots, too. I scored a win in the ninth grade when I was selected as editor of the junior high school newspaper. That same year, I also had another win for a contest I did not know I had entered. This occurred during a ninth-grade dance when I finally had the courage to ask a blonde crush named Sharon to slow dance. I know, I was the “Sheik” after all, but I was still pretty shy. Sharon gave me a funny look, but agreed. I noticed during the dance that other couples were leaving the floor until only we remained—but I didn’t understand. We danced to the rock classic In the Still of the Night. And, when it ended with the requisite dip, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and heard a teacher-chaperone congratulating me on our win.

Sharon started giggling and said, “You didn’t know this was a contest, did you?”

I confessed, “If I did, I probably would not have asked you to dance.”

In high school, I played on a basketball team that lost 20 games. Even as a member of that team, however, I now feel I won by learning about perseverance. Try to imagine the difficulty of continuing to practice and attend games knowing your team is the worst in a league. The award-winning American writer Pat Conroy actually wrote a best-selling book about his experience as a point guard for a college basketball team that also lost 20 games, acknowledging that every day presents a challenge that you can win just by showing up. In My Losing Season, Conroy recalls finding solace in appreciating the small triumphs that happen every day even when a season is lost.

Despite my experiences in organized sports, my most memorable athletic win of high school occurred in an oddball event that likely would be banned if attempted now. It occurred on a rainy day when my sophomore physical education class was forced inside, stuck in the high school gym with many students eating lunch in the bleachers. Struggling to find a suitable activity that might allow him to leave the gym and go to his office for a smoke, our football coach-teacher initiated a game of dodgeball with no rules. He simply threw four volleyballs into the crowd of about fifty boys and said, “You get hit with a ball, you go sit out.”

Of course, word spread and a crowd started to gather in the bleachers hoping for a bloodbath. Kids were cheering like the audience at a gladiator contest in ancient Rome. No rules? So, I grabbed a volleyball in each hand and ran among my classmates tagging them with the balls. I controlled half of the balls and pretty quickly had dispatched a large number to the bleachers. At one point I had three of the four balls, and gave one of them to a girl in the bleachers with instructions to hold it for me. Suddenly I realized only I remained against Charlie Tracer, a senior and the best basketball player on a good varsity team. Charlie had the peripheral vision of an eagle and the body control of a chimpanzee. He once had dribbled a ball between my legs on his way to a layup when I tried to guard him in a playground game, leaving me to look the perfect fool. Now, I stood at one end of the gym holding two volleyballs while Charlie stood at the other with two of his own.

The crowd went wild. I knew I’d never get him playing tag, so I just held my ground. Charlie approached half court and faked a throw. I dodged away and he almost hit me with his throw of anticipation. His ball smacked off the wall and bounced back toward him. I saw my chance, circled around and nailed him in the head when he paused to field his ball. I bet nobody remembers this win but me.

Now, for some serious stuff. Beyond dodgeball, dance contests and the schoolboy patrol, I’ve also recorded some impressive wins in my professional life. And once again, one of those—perhaps my most prominent—occurred when I didn’t even realize I had entered a contest. It also came at an unusual time—just as I began a 45-year career as a newspaper reporter and journalist.

JOURNALISM

On May 5, 1969, the School of Journalism at the University of Missouri (Mizzou) honored me as winner of the Walter Williams Award given to the graduating senior deemed the “outstanding writer” in the class. Until I received it, I hadn’t even known it existed. Too much, too soon? Was I really worthy? I pondered these questions as I realized I would need to spend the entirety of my career proving I deserved it. To fully appreciate my dilemma requires more background about my academic career and Mizzou’s vaunted School of Journalism, ranked then alongside Northwestern and Columbia universities as the premier locations to learn the craft.

While those Mizzou rivals built their reputations on scholarly pursuit of journalistic principles, Mizzou functioned more like a trade school for reporters. The University of Missouri was only one of a handful of universities with a separate school of journalism awarding degrees known as bachelors of journalism. Thus, my degree from Mizzou is a Bachelor of Journalism with a major in news editorial, rather than a Bachelor of Arts with a major in journalism. Structurally, the Mizzou School of Journalism was built around the operations of an actual daily newspaper, The Columbia Missourian, which covered the City of Columbia, central Missouri and the University in competition with Columbia’s other daily newspaper, The Columbia Tribune. The Missourian was not the school paper. It survived on advertising sales and “employed” journalism students as its staff.

Instead of pay, staffers received class credits for their work. For example, when I had a three-hour course on Reporting 101, I did not attend a conventional classroom. Instead, I reported for duty to an editor at the Missourian city desk who assigned me to either cover a beat like Columbia city hall or the police station or to report on general stories that might differ from one day to the next. At the end of the semester, that editor with a professor title would award me a grade in that class. And these editors were not your normal college professors.

My best editor was an old veteran of Illinois newspapers who had never even attended college. G. Thomas Duffy had dropped out of high school in the 1930s to work on The East St. Louis Journal, rising from a position of copy boy to reporter and then to editor of the paper on the strength of his natural talents as a word smith but also his penchant for nosing out secrets. When he retired at The Journal, Duffy accepted an associate professorship at Mizzou where he could just continue to do what he had done at The Journal—lead The Missourian student staff in coverage of city government and industry in central Missouri. Duffy was the kind of editor who could read your tortured copy, laugh in your face, wad it up, knock the ashes from the cigarette constantly dangling on his lip, throw the paper at you and snarl, “Try again.” If we spent any time debating journalistic ethics or the proper place to use a semicolon like students at Northwestern or Columbia, we did it in a bar after publishing the daily paper, just like reporters and editors at real papers all over the country. Duffy supervised a team of similar “trade school” professor-editors to make sure we concentrated on our real job of meeting our deadlines and feeding that daily Missourian beast with all the news that residents of central Missouri needed to know.

I didn’t meet Duffy until my junior year at Mizzou, and I hadn’t gone to Mizzou specifically to study journalism. You could not even enroll at Mizzou’s School of Journalism until your junior year, after successfully navigating two years or 60 hours of courses that included required credits in foreign language, science, math, history and other electives. I enrolled at Mizzou after high school in St. Louis because Mizzou was the state university and I wanted to attend college. As well as an education, I sought a transition to independence and adulthood and Mizzou emerged as the next logical step in that direction.

I did well as a freshman, generating a grade point average high enough for admission to the honors college as a sophomore. What’s more, I enjoyed the academic process. I had a curious mind that attacked some classes like a sponge. By the end of my sophomore year, however, I had become a confused young man, unsure if I even had a goal for my life. I’m sure I wasn’t any different from thousands of other students at this age before me and in the years since. For the first time, I felt anxiety about my future because I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. But I knew I had a talent for the written word and a curiosity about current events. So, without a real blueprint for the future, I gambled on enrollment in the School of Journalism—J-School—for the semester beginning September of 1967. It turned out to be the best bet I would ever make.

Does any student ever really know what they expect in a career based on their choices in college? How can an accounting major, for example, understand how that job will actually look a decade down the road? And, if they could, would they shift gears and study something else instead? I consider myself fortunate in finding something that I really wanted to do. But it did not become immediately apparent that I had chosen wisely. The first two semesters of J-School involved some basic but somewhat boring classes where we learned the basics of newspaper writing style, copy editing, the history of journalism and even advertising.

My epiphany occurred in June and July of 1968, when I spent the summer session working like a dog for six hours credit as a cub reporter under G. Thomas Duffy at The Missourian. Working part time in a bar, I had bankrolled ample living expenses to allow me to spend that summer at school rather than on a job. It provided a great opportunity as a member of a reduced summer class population. At that time, enrollment in the Mizzou J-School ranked as the largest in the nation, the largest the school had ever seen providing The Missourian with one of the largest reporting staffs in the country that year at more than 200. Competition had been fierce that Spring for quality assignments. I knew a couple of students who had been told to walk up and down a few streets in Columbia hoping to find stories in the neighborhoods. By June, however, the staff had shriveled to a handful of us, and there were more stories available than reporters to cover them. My decision to delay my reporting classes could not have been more timely.

With graduation looming in June of 1969, I realized I had accumulated a large number of impressive Missourian clippings because I received offers of employment from three newspapers, including The Chicago Tribune, a major daily with a national reputation. In those days, many newspapers sent editors to the Mizzou campus to interview potential recruits, so we had an easy time connecting with employment opportunities. I had already decided to accept a job with the smaller Flint Journal, in Flint, Michigan, because I concluded I would have greater opportunity to cover larger stories than in Chicago, where I would have been competing against more seasoned veteran reporters.

But one day in April, I received a strange phone call from the dean’s office in the J-School, summoning me to meet with someone there. When I arrived, a woman in the office told me it would be very important for me to attend the J-School awards ceremony scheduled for May 5. She said I might want to invite some family or friends to attend as well. When I asked her to elaborate, she revealed that the faculty had chosen me to receive the Walter Williams Award.

“Are you sure you have the right guy?” I asked.

“Let me check again,” she smiled and reviewed a document. She compared my student number and date of birth with those on her documents and confirmed, “Yes, it’s you. Congratulations.”

Nevertheless, I remained so convinced that they had made a mistake, I told no one about the achievement. I didn’t want friends attending only to see someone else receive the award with an apology to me for the error. Meanwhile, I spent some time researching the award and past recipients. It was named for the founder of the Mizzou J-School as the nation’s first dedicated school of journalism in 1905, and given annually to the student deemed the outstanding writer in the graduating class. Williams is often considered the father of journalism education.

The university’s publicity department took a photo of me receiving the plaque and circulated it to local newspapers that published a short story. The plaque still hangs on the wall above my desk. It reads “The Walter Williams Award given by the Missouri Writers Guild to Gary Dale Taylor May 5, 1969.” As I set out driving to my first job in Flint, I felt a tremendous responsibility to the school and to Walter to make sure they never regretted giving me the honor.

I should interject here and incorporate my thoughts on the relationship of writing to journalism as I eventually came to appreciate it. Journalism requires two basic elements: writing and reporting. Of those two, reporting easily ranks as the most important because it covers the activity of actually gathering accurate information while writing merely represents the ability to communicate that information in an organized and interesting fashion. An effective journalist owes success about 80 percent to reporting skills and only 20 percent to writing skills. Over my career, I would work with many reporters who would have failed at writing a grocery list. But they proved themselves much more proficient at reporting than me. There is always someone working on the city desk who can take a weak writer’s notes and transform them into a readable story. By the end of my career, I had concluded that I had been a pretty effective reporter, as well, but I always believed I relied more on my writing skills to cover lapses in my reporting.

Regarding the source of my writing skills, I’ve always credited a natural ear for language and a desire for communication. I know that I demonstrated writing skills almost as soon as I learned English. Besides an enjoyment of reading from the first grade forward, I also experimented with writing my own stories—two activities that obviously polished my ear for language. I suppose I would consider this a talent that could not really be learned, but it could be polished. And I spent most of my life polishing that talent.

As a professional journalist, I would go on to win only three more awards, and one of those would be only a nomination. But that came for a Pulitzer Prize, so the honor of even being nominated ranks as an achievement. And that nomination came for the story I consider the best of my career in 1976 while working at The Houston Post in Houston, Texas. I’ve already recorded many details about that story in another lengthy blog post. To summarize, my reporting here resulted in the release from prison of an aging convict.

My second award also came while reporting for The Houston Post, this time in 1978 when I shared the Texas UPI Editors award for enterprise reporting with a younger reporter named Glenn Lewis, now deceased. We won for a series of articles exposing corruption and brutality in the Jacinto City, Texas, police department. Our stories appeared on Sunday June 9, 1978, spread across the front page after a month of work interviewing Jacinto City cops and analyzing court documents.

As a new reporter, Glenn had been covering Jacinto City for our neighborhood section when several city police officers approached him as whistleblowers against their chief, Allan Jamail. They alleged that Jamail had forced them to coerce confessions from a large number of suspects using electronic shock batons and beatings. The victims covered a broad spectrum of suspects already convicted for charges ranging as low as misdemeanors to capital murder. In fact, one of the alleged victims was awaiting execution for the murder of his niece in 1977, and I had covered his trial. Glenn realized this story could be larger than he could handle, so he asked our city editor for help. The editor assigned me to join the story, since I already had a personal interest following my coverage of the trial of John Charles Zimmerman the year before.

Zimmerman’s case had captured national attention for the sheer brutality of the crime, which involved the rape and decapitation of his 10-year-old niece. Jamail and the Jacinto City PD had received acclaim for solving it so quickly. Although we would later learn that they did indeed torture Zimmerman, I had no doubt of his guilt at the trial because his attorney chose to employ an insanity defense claiming Zimmerman suffered psychic trauma from his service in Vietnam. Admitting the facts of the crime, he argued Zimmerman should be hospitalized. Jurors disagreed and sentenced him to death. Because Zimmerman conceded the facts with his insanity plea, the issue of an illegal confession never arose in court.

I faced a moral dilemma when learning about Zimmerman’s torture. I realized our exposure of the scandal likely would force a retrial for a man I believed guilty of a hideous crime. Before we published our stories, the prosecutor who convicted him practically begged me to ignore it. He feared they could not convict him again with that illegal confession. But he also admitted knowledge of the photos showing Zimmerman’s shock baton bruising, and conceded he’d been relieved when the defense opted for an insanity plea. I considered the issue to be larger than one case, however, and warned him the story was ready to break.

Jamail got his warning the day before publication. I told Glenn we’d have to visit Jamail at his home and allow him to refute or explain the massive pile of evidence we had accumulated. We found Jamail in his yard, cutting his grass and asked for an audience. He turned off the lawnmower. When he learned what we had, he sneered and replied with arrogant confidence. He invited us into his garage, where he showed us a stack of electronic shock batons in cartons. He admitted serving as the distributor for buyers in Texas. His attitude: “I did what needed to be done.”

As a legal defense, that must have worked because he won an acquittal a year later on federal charges of civil rights violations brought after publication of our stories and based primarily on testimony from our sources inside the department, officers Jamail dismissed, of course, as “disgruntled employees.” Meanwhile, the outcry forced the Harris County District Attorney’s office to dismiss dozens of Jacinto City PD cases and retry them all, including the capital murder case on Zimmerman. They still managed to convict him, and Zimmerman has since been executed.

Just as my first award had occurred at the beginning of my career, my last award provided a symbolic bookend, coming in an unlikely place just two years before my 2012 retirement. After a career of newspapers and freelance magazine writing, I had spent the last 15 years of my career as a reporter for the so-called trade press, covering business developments in the chemical and energy industries. I had expected those last years to provide interesting yet undramatic reporting opportunities while padding the investments in my retirement account. I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

While working from 1997 to 2004 as a deputy editor for a British Internet news service called Chemical News & Intelligence, I enjoyed the chance to travel the world filing stories on chemical industry business developments. Then, in 2004 I moved to a job in the Houston bureau of a McGraw-Hill daily newsletter titled Platts Oilgram News (PON). I did not travel as frequently as I had with the earlier publication because PON employed correspondents all over the globe.

PON was a large and historic publication able to charge an annual subscription rate of $3,000 per year by producing stories full of inside information for high-level energy executives eager to keep tabs on their rivals. The newsletter arrived every morning in the subscriber’s email box as a PDF that looked exactly like the print publication their predecessors had known in the years before the Internet, all the way back to the early 20th Century when a man named Platt began to sell it.

In the PON Houston bureau, I found myself covering several nationally important news events that proved more complicated than many I had covered as a crime reporter at newspapers. These included the trial of disgraced Enron executive Ken Lay, the bankruptcy case of Russian oil giant Yukos and the investigation of a corrupt chief financial officer sentenced to prison for embezzlement of millions of dollars from his oilfield drilling rig company. But the biggest story for me at Platts erupted in April 2010, when the Macondo exploration well exploded in the Gulf of Mexico, killing eleven oilfield workers and destroying the Deepwater Horizon drilling ship.

The uncompleted well proceeded to leak oil into the Gulf and the operators at British Petroleum (BP) would be unable to stop the flow for five months, forcing the United States to halt all exploration drilling in the Gulf. The event itself would become the source for movies and books, but for me it became my only job during the summer and fall of 2010. PON assigned me to take the lead on a team of reporters covering multiple aspects of the disaster.

During my Macondo year, my daily routine changed significantly. Instead of working in the Houston bureau office in downtown Houston, I worked from home where I could more efficiently monitor the various telephonic press conferences conducted several times each day—and sometimes at night—as BP, the US Coast Guard and other government agencies explained their unsuccessful attempts to bring the oil flow under control by capping the Macondo blowout. Once the industry stopped the flow, we had many other subjects to report, ranging from the long-term impact on other companies working the Gulf to investigating the possible reasons why the deadly accident had occurred. In addition to filing a large daily story for the PON newsletter, I also filed smaller stories all day long to the McGraw-Hill real time wire service, so I stayed busy working twelve-hour days for much of that year. Still, as I mopped the sweat from my brow, I realized that I enjoyed the experience. It reminded me of the reasons I had chosen this profession, and I would not have missed the Macondo opportunity for anything.

But it came as a complete surprise later in 2010 when my top editor in New York informed me that the Macondo reporting team would be receiving the McGraw-Hill Corporate Achievement Award for that year thanks to our coverage of this significant event. The company brought us all to New York for the ceremony—and the celebration that continued through the night at one of the city’s finest watering holes. My editor noted this had been the first time in company history that PON had been recognized by its corporate mother in this fashion. And once again, while working on the Macondo stories, I had no idea any award like this would even be a possibility.

More winning? Well, in retirement I’ve experienced some other contests that qualify. For starters, I wrote a memoir in 2009 that has been recognized as a winner in five national book contests. Entitled Luggage By Kroger, the book collected these five awards: A True Crime Silver Medal from the 2009 IPPYs; a True Crime Bronze Medal and Finalist for Book-of-the-Year from the 2008 ForeWord Magazine Book-of-the-Year Awards; True Crime Runner-Up in the 2009 National Indie Excellence Awards; True Crime Finalist in the 2009 USA Book News Awards; and General Nonfiction Runner-Up at the 2009 New York Book Festival. You can read more about the book on its Amazon.com profile page and in a pair of blog posts at this blog. I didn’t write the book with the idea of winning an award. I wrote it for a number of reasons, all described in that post of my blog, a copy of a question-and-answer interview with another author in 2009. But I entered the book in contests as a marketing strategy, to assure potential buyers that “experts” had acknowledged its value.

Beyond the professional realm of winning, I can add several other competitive victories from the realm of so-called adult recreational athletics: darts, softball coaching and poker—specifically the game of Texas Holdem. I’ve always needed a competitive outlet for my recreational activities and those activities have served that role for much of my life. While I’d never qualify as a professional in either darts or poker, I have played more competitively than merely recreational to win and lose money at both.

DARTS

With darts, I started playing in 1980 at the age of 32, when a drinking buddy recruited me to play British steel darts in a Houston bar called Rudyard’s Pub On Kipling Street. Even before playing a game, I realized I enjoyed the physical challenge of simply trying to throw the dart at a target. Then, I learned about the darts subculture that includes a national ranking system and provides a competitive outlet for hundreds of players much like bowling. I learned that Houston had an association that organized team play on a seasonal basis, awarding trophies to members of winning teams. Recognizing a business opportunity, a group of bars sponsored the teams as a way to attract drinking customers on slower nights.

A typical team roster numbered four or five players, so a pub hosting a team every Wednesday night, for example, might add a dozen to two-dozen patrons for the darts league contests depending on the number of friends who might attend to watch. While they did not charge to use the boards and they experienced some additional overhead from installation of new boards on a regular basis, bar owners understood the extra revenue from a larger crowd would easily recoup the $150 they paid to the Houston Darts Association (HDA) for organizing each three-month league and distributing trophies to the top teams in each division.

To ensure a truly competitive experience, the HDA operated leagues based on experience and ability that allowed novice players to improve their skills by playing each other. A typical league contest would involve play of several events in three basic games: 301, 501 and British Cricket. Team members would play rounds of singles, doubles and usually a team event featuring four players from each team against another. Teams collected league points for each event they won, and the league calculated the scores over the course of a season to determine the placement of the teams. 

Besides sponsoring league teams, many bars also conducted tournaments that allowed players to compete for money. Individuals typically would pay an entry fee of $5 or $10 to the bar’s volunteer tournament director, who would then randomly divide the players into doubles teams to vie for a share of the cash prize pool. One pair would play three games against another pair with the losing pair eliminated until only two teams remained to split the pot. Over time, the bars grew creative with these tournaments, devising ways to rank entrants so that weaker players would be paired with stronger players to provide more equitable competition and eliminate the possibility of two stronger players ruining the fun as teammates. The HDA also sponsored large tournaments twice a year, attracting players from all over the world to contend for a prize pool that might run as high as $100,000.

My darting career lasted from 1980 until about 2013, when I realized that age had taken the edge from my hand-to-eye coordination skills. During those years, I enjoyed competing both in league play and the money tournaments with varying results. As a league team player and captain competing in the HDA’s strongest divisions, I collected about thirty team trophies during those years and they still sit atop the filing cabinets in my exercise room where my descendants undoubtedly will find them after my death and mutter, “What the hell is all this junk?” But I still enjoy letting them remind me of times when I entered the arena and emerged victorious.

In addition to the team trophies, I also accumulated a number of individual league darts honors in the form of certificates now framed on the wall. The league maintained individual statistics and recognized winners in several categories like most individual wins in a season. HDA also awarded certificates for special shots, most prominently the “Ton-80” which occurs when a player executes the best three-dart shot available on the board: three darts together in the triple-twenty plot. I have about a dozen Ton-80 certificates framed on my wall above the trophies.

Although I never considered myself a professional darts player, I played with several players over the years who qualified by winning large sums of money on a national level. One in particular was Wade McDonald, a left-handed shooter who ranked number one in the nation for a while in listings compiled by the American Darts Organization (ADO). Once in a league night pairing I beat Wade head’s up in a game of singles 301 and still recall the thrill. Wade actually made his living as a carpenter, but for a couple of years he earned enough from traveling the professional darts circuit to take a break from the hammer and nails. Wade played several times as part of a hand-picked team challenging a British team in London, sponsored by the ADO.

In one memorable episode, I helped Wade avoid a drunken driving conviction by employing what I called the “darts defense.”  Our adventure occurred after I drew Wade as my blind-draw partner for Doubles 501 at one of the HDA’s large national tournaments. He left after we lost in the second round. But he called two days later asking my help. He’d been arrested after the tournament for drunken driving, but he had refused a breathalyzer test and protested his innocence. Now he wanted me to come testify that just before he left the tournament, he had made a difficult darts shot—so he couldn’t possibly have been drunk! I thought his strategy sounded ridiculous, but I agreed to meet with his attorney to discuss this novelty tactic. When the attorney began questioning me about darts and Wade’s skills, I suggested partially as a joke that we could play a game in front of the jury with Wade demonstrating his trick shot for his courtroom life.

“If jurors take the board into the jury room and try it themselves, they will think there’s no way he could have been drunk just half an hour later,” I said.

Wade was skeptical, but his attorney loved the idea. So did the judge, who obviously thought a courtroom darts game might break the monotony in his daily routine. Of course, the female prosecutor blew a fuse protesting this demonstration. When the judge agreed, however, and told us to fetch the dart board, she decided to just dismiss Wade’s case and move on to some other drunk driver without a defense. The attorney confided afterward that the case against Wade had not been very strong because he had not looked too drunk on his police station video.

Although I never considered myself a “professional” at darts, I did participate one season about 1984 in what the HDA promoted as a “professional league.” I recall it as the most interesting of my darts career, and it ranks as another example of something I considered a win.

The association invited all interested players to attend an organizational meeting at a large bar. We had enough interest in Houston to form eleven teams of four players each, who agreed to pay $25 apiece each week into a pool. We elected eleven captains and then conducted a pro-style draft to assemble the teams, with the captains selecting in reverse order of their elections. I was surprised to become the second player selected overall in this draft. Because we had drafted teams, this league proved to be highly competitive with six of the eleven virtually tied for first place at the end of the three-month season. My team finished high enough to recover the money we had each invested in the prize pool during the season.

As a darts tournament player, my most impressive win occurred in 1983 when I entered a major singles dart tournament in Galveston that had attracted players from all over the region. I only finished in second place, but that day remains fixed in my mind as one of my top athletic achievements. I played from about noon until close to midnight, dispatching one opponent after another in the game of 501. I realized something unique—almost supernatural—was happening in my performance that day, and I have tried to understand it through research into performance psychology ever since. I concluded that on this day I experienced what some psychologists have labeled “flow,” defined simply as a state of complete immersion in an activity. It’s too bad we can’t adopt a state of flow any time we need it. But then, if we could, no one would ever lose and all competitions would finish in a tie. For more information on the psychology of flow, look here

I recall entering states of flow on several occasions in my life, but nothing was more memorable or extensive than during that darts tournament in Galveston. The best description of the experience is simple: I reached a point early in the contest where the dart board seemed so close that I could just reach out and place my darts wherever I wanted. I’ve had a similar flow experience playing shortstop in a softball game as a 50-year-old when the batted ball seemed to move so slowly that I could see ever bounce and wiggle. I recall experiencing flow in basketball games when the other players appeared to be walking. All I had to do was dribble between them and take my shots. 

But those softball and basketball moments of flow occurred erratically compared with the afternoon of performance on the darts board that day in Galveston. One-by-one the players fell until only two of us remained. I stood head’s up with lights shinning on only one board and the crowd packed into the darkness. My opponent was a British expat named Roger Bick, who had played with me on a team a couple of years earlier. The crowd clearly viewed me as the underdog since I had never won a major event like this, while Roger had. We flipped a coin to determine who would shoot first for the bull’s eye to decide which player would start. The crowd sighed when I lost the flip and Roger followed by placing one dart into the single bull’s eye—that green outer ring around the red double bull that ranks as the best shot on the board. I stepped to the line, my flow still surging, and popped my dart straight into the red bull. The crowd roared as I prepared to shoot first.

Then, I realized something was happening to my flow. Perhaps I started thinking too much about the potential outcome of a glorious conquest. Somehow, I lost that complete immersion in the game, forgot the joy of hitting my target and focused instead on Roger, standing there waiting for me to fail. And that’s what I did. I proceeded to lose this showdown in two straight matches. I did collect $100 for my second-place finish. I never had another afternoon at darts like that again.

During my peak darting years in the 1980s, I always enjoyed strolling into “foreign” darts bars and playing the so-called local champion. I define foreign as any bar outside of Houston. Every darts bar boasts a reigning regular—the guy who plays there all the time and seldom loses. They are usually the definition of the “big fish in the small pond.” My favorite memory of playing a local champ in a foreign bar involves a showdown in St. Peters, Missouri, with a local champ I knew only as “JR.”

I first confronted JR about 1982 while visiting my dad over Christmas in St. Louis. Seeking a darts match, I learned the Pirates Cove Lounge in St. Peters just west of the city had scheduled a blind-draw doubles tournament for Friday night. So, I drove to the Pirates Cove, paid my $5 entry fee and drew as my partner one of the females. I carried her through our side of the bracket until the finals. As we prepared for the money round, she whispered, “JR.” I tried to hold my laughter, as I thought “Local champion, here we come.” We squared off and I won the money. But JR demonstrated great skill. He was a tall bearded guy, cigarette dangling from his lip, and he seemed irritated about the outcome. After I collected my winnings, another female approached and said JR wanted to play head’s up for money. She volunteered to keep score.

And, so, we squared off once more for one dollar per game. Every patron in the bar watched us play twenty or thirty games, alternating wins fairly evenly. I believe by the end of the night, neither one of us had netted any money. But I had a great time, left the bar and returned to Houston. A year later almost to the day, I was back in St. Louis and decided to visit the Pirates Cove for an encore. I walked through the door in the late afternoon. Before I could sit down on a stool, I heard the female bar tender yell, “Hey, JR, that guy from Texas is here again.” JR emerged from a back room, darts in hand, and grinned: “Let’s go!”

We shouldn’t leave the darts world without some discussion of the darts bar hustle. I was not involved in very many of these confrontations, but I did enjoy one memorable event in the late 1990s at Rudyard’s Pub in Houston that netted me about $100. If you recall the movie White Men Can’t Jump, you know that Woody Harrellson played a white guy who teamed with Wesley Snipes in a recreational basketball hustle that involved Woody pretending to be an awkward doofus just hanging out while Wesley goaded other players into a challenge for big money by vowing to take any fool for a partner—even that doofus over there. In my darts version, I played the Woody Harrellson character, but our event was not as organized as the movie. In fact, I didn’t even realize what was happening until I started raking the money.

Although I’ve been a regular patron of Rudyard’s, on this occasion I was just hanging out unrecognized, practicing my game alone on a board to the side while two other patrons played each other nearby. I’d been practicing about half an hour, drinking a beer, when an old acquaintance from the darts league entered Rudyard’s looking for a game. He simply nodded at me and then challenged the other two in a doubles match for money, agreeing to play with any partner, even me. I agreed and we decided to play for one dollar apiece. When we won, we offered double-or-nothing and they agreed. The winning streak continued, and double-or-nothing quickly grew into a fairly large prize pool. These guys lost every match, but they could not refuse the opportunity to try to eliminate their debt with a single winning game. They decided to stop when each of them had paid out $100.   

I should share one more darts anecdote before moving on to softball and poker, even though it has nothing to do with winning. It occurred in 2003 while traveling in England on an assignment for my company. With a bit of vacation time to burn, I hopped the BritRail train to Edinburgh and then traveled over to the English border town of Carlisle to spend a day touring the Roman ruin of Hadrian’s Wall and the old castle at Carlisle. While staying overnight in Carlisle, I grabbed my darts and visited a pub to have a couple of beers and compete against the locals there.

While warming up on a board alone, I heard a British accent ask, “Where you from, mate?” When I said Houston, he started laughing and chanting “Richmond Arms! Richmond Arms!” I couldn’t believe it. Here I stood thousands of miles from home and this guy was chanting the name of a Houston darts pub where I had spent many hours in competition over the years.

“You’re not buying another drink here,” he said. “It’s all on me, and let’s have a game!”  

He explained that he had been in the British Navy during the short-lived Falklands War of 1982 with his ship stationed for a while at the Port of Houston. At that time, the owner of the Richmond Arms was a British expat and darting pal of mine named Michael Holliday, and he knew an opportunity when he saw one. Mike rented a bus and sent it every night to the port so those homesick British seamen could have transportation to the Richmond Arms, spend their money, drink their fill and return to the ship after closing time like VIPs. For all I know, I had played games with him twenty years before meeting him in Carlisle. Small world, eh? So, we played several hours. And yes, he won every match! But I drank for free.

FAST PITCH SOFTBALL COACHING

I view my softball wins as a coach of girls rather than my own play on the field. I coached young girls softball teams for about a decade, from 1984 until 1994. As a coach, I enjoyed several winning seasons in terms of wins and losses, and I coached many teams to winning games. I also enjoyed watching individual players improve and learn from the competitive exercise. For me, those wins as a teacher rather than a coach have been the most satisfying.

 It is sad that my memories of service in Southwest Houston Girls Softball Association more often trigger feelings of regret instead of triumph. Emotions run high in little league and all parents find themselves crossing the line between calm and counterproductive more often than they would choose to admit. I like to think that overall, I was one of the good guys who volunteered his time to the greater benefit of all concerned. I even served as the elected president for one season. I umpired. I coached multiple teams—not just the select teams, but the regular neighborhood teams slapped together from the girls who could show up at the park. Now that those girls have all grown up, some consider me an adult friend.

I remember entering a bar a few years back and hearing the bar maid scream, “Coach Taylor!” I couldn’t remember the girl, but apparently I hadn’t been too rough on her since she bought me a drink. But I know I had my darker moments on the diamond in those years. Occasionally, I’ve encountered a former associate from the softball league and felt compelled to apologize for something without even remembering why. I only recalled that I had hurt that person some way in the past and wanted to make amends.

Of all the players and teams, however, one of each still resonates in my memory. The player was a nine-year-old girl named Lisa who asked if she could play on my 1985 team, the Ladybugs. I still had a spot, so I said sure. That night I got a call from her father, voicing his concerns. He explained that Lisa had been born with an ankle problem of some sort requiring surgery and rehabilitation. He added that Lisa’s mother had been unable to accept the medical issues, so she had abandoned them. He was worried about her ability to participate and how failure might affect her emotional growth.

“I talked with her today and she looked pretty normal, “I said. “Why don’t I meet with you two. We’ll try playing catch and see what she thinks.”

The next day we gathered at the field, where I told Lisa to use her bare hands catching a tennis ball. I showed her how to hold her two palms facing outward to grab the ball as I tossed it her way. She closed her hands around the ball and grabbed it. Her eyes opened wide and a big smile crawled across her face. She laughed. I looked at her dad, and he was starting to cry.

Lisa became the most memorable example of a personal rule I used while coaching children. I decided my primary goal for every team I coached would be to find the weakest player and at some point in the season to place that kid in a position to do something that she could never have imagined possible before the season began. Hit a ball in an actual game? Score a run? Catch a ball? This inspired me to work harder with the kids who really needed instruction. So, I worked with Lisa all season, But I kept her in the outfield so she couldn’t get hurt.

She went all season without a hit or fielding a ball. Finally, in one game, I decided to put her at third base for an inning, hoping my pitcher could strike out the side and keep Lisa safe. Well, every coach knows what happens almost every time you put a kid like Lisa at third base. I couldn’t look when a batter smashed a screaming line drive straight at her face. But I heard a loud pop of the ball hitting a leather glove, and then the crowd roared approval. I saw her wandering around with the ball in her glove, laughing and smiling. Now it was my turn to sniff back a tear—primarily because she had experienced what for her must have been an incredible moment of success like she had never imagined. But, also from relief that she still had a face. I felt like a winner that day for sure.

Lisa was too old to stay with the Ladybugs in 1986, after we had finished in second place in 1985. But she continued to play with the older girls, and her father volunteered as an assistant coach on her team in 1986. And that’s the year I managed my most memorable and satisfying team, the 1986 edition of the Ladybugs. The 1985 season had been a hard-fought contest with a rival coach of the Honeybees. In an effort to compete, I had worked hard at recruiting athletic little players from neighborhood soccer teams, trying to find a couple of nuggets who could win. It still hadn’t been enough to overcome that coach and his daughter, who had become the most dominating pitcher the league had ever seen. In 1986, however, Dick Hall and his daughter Shannon had moved up to the next age group, out of my hair. Still, I was worn out from the competitive bombast of 1985. So, I told the league president, “I don’t care if we win. Just put some kids on my team who live close enough to practice together at their own school.”

After signups I reviewed my list of names and their experience levels. I recognized that of the thirteen members of the roster, six had experience and seven did not. That gave me an idea. I reserved the practice field at Sutton Elementary for daily practices at four and divided the team into two groups: pros and amateurs. I worked with each group on alternating days.

With the amateurs, I took my time tossing tennis balls and teaching them to swing off a batting tee. The smaller group allowed me and my assistants to spend quality time on fundamentals without fear that their experienced teammates might injure or intimidate them. On the pro days, those girls hit the field full blast, improving their skills at a faster pace, no holds barred—and they loved it that the amateurs were not slowing them down. We did this for two weeks, and I was the only one practicing every day.

Just before I merged the two groups, one of the amateurs approached me and asked, “Coach, thanks for all your help, but I’m worried. I saw another team practicing and they were really good. We only have seven players and none of us is very good. Are we going to do OK?”

I realized she had seen the other half of her team without appreciating they belonged to us. I laughed and told her, “You’ve only seen half of our team. We’re practicing together starting next week. Take a look then and tell me what you think.”

Her eyes got wide on Monday when she saw the veterans join the team—firing the balls around the bases, popping their gloves and hitting moon shots into the outfield. She smiled and said, “OK, we have a team.”  She was right. That edition of the Ladybugs did win the championship for the nine-and-under playing division, but not without a battle from the Honeybees. Although Dick and his daughter had graduated, the Honeybees remained strong. The season ended in a tie that triggered a one-game playoff. I had concerns in the first inning when the Honeybees loaded the bases. Their cleanup batter smacked a ground ball to third base where one of the former amateurs had managed to secure the position. She fielded the grounder and, instead of tagging third base for the easy out, fired home to our catcher who stopped the run.

“We never worked on that,” I asked her. “Why did you throw home?”

“It just seemed like the right thing to do,” she said. I felt like a winner again because I realized she had become a player, not just some robot parroting my instructions. I had to believe that somewhere my skill as a teacher had found success.

We won the title game easily, and, looking back, I believe the successful execution of that out at home in the first inning provided an intimidating play that the young Honeybees could not shake out of their heads. I’m sure it rallied the rest of the Ladybugs with confidence they could succeed. I must confess, it did not hurt that one of my experienced neighborhood players turned out to be the best player in the league that year. But I know it took more than her. And that team reminded me of a conversation from a decade earlier among colleagues over lunch discussing our various career goals if we could not have worked as journalists.

“Morris Buttermaker,” I said, not even half in jest. I saw the blank stares and elaborated. “You know, Walter Matthau in The Bad News Bears. Driving around in my convertible, cleaning swimming pools, taking kids to baseball practice and filling out the lineup. Winning the championship with a rag tag bunch of little shits who never thought it possible. Maybe I will do something like that someday.”

Over the years, many young softball players rode around in my 1980 Ford Bronco, carrying gloves and bats and bags and gear. I let them autograph their names with markers on the inside walls of that vehicle. I was self-employed as a freelance writer in those years so I had plenty of time to run my bus to practices. No swimming pools for me. Morris Buttermaker indeed! I’ll take the 1986 Ladybugs any day over the 1976 Bad News Bears.

But children grow up. And when I looked around my empty nest in the mid-1990s, I realized I needed some new competitive activity to stir my soul besides darts. I had played all varieties of poker since my teenage years. But a relatively new variety was gaining prominence with televised tournaments. So, I decided to renew my interest by learning the latest more popular version of Texas Holdem.

TEXAS HOLDEM POKER

I immediately embraced Holdem as a near perfect game of chance, one that requires a good deal of skill while exercising the mind—a crucial consideration for anyone entering their senior years. Each hand requires a player to make dozens of decisions about folding, calling, raising or betting based on the psychological analysis of an opponent who may be holding anything from a winning hand to nothing at all.

In Holdem, each player receives two cards face down and then bets according to their assessment of the power of those cards. After this round of betting, the dealer provides three more cards face up called the “flop” for the remaining players to consider. After another round of betting or folding, the dealer delivers a fourth card face up, called the “Turn” or “Fourth Street.” After one more betting round, the dealer delivers the fifth and final card face up on the board, called “The River.” The five cards face up are community cards to be used in every remaining hand, combined with the two unknown cards each player held from the start.

Holdem is such a fascinating game, it’s enjoyable to play for fun. But playing for money adds a more interesting element, and the standard game is called “No Limit Holdem” because it allows any player at any time to bet or raise with all the money in stake on the table. I play primarily in tournaments where every player pays the same amount, receives equal chips and plays until their chips have been taken by another player or until they have taken all the chips. For example, I have played in tournaments where I paid $1,000 to receive 10,000 chips, and I have played when I paid only $30 to receive 3,000 chips. The value of the chips is irrelevant because you only play until they are gone. But the longer you last the more actual money you will receive at the end of the tournament.

I consider my play to be winning when I last long enough to recover cash. I have won several small tournaments in bars where the prize was $150 and I paid nothing to play. The bar benefits from selling drinks to all the players. But I also have traveled to Reno and to Las Vegas for larger tournaments requiring me to buy-in for a seat. I also maintain a disciplined record of my wagers and earnings. You won’t be impressed.

Although I could afford to lose more every year, I have a goal of limiting my total loss in any calendar year to $5,000. Reviewing the results for the last few years, I can report that in 2017 I wagered a total of $7,960 while winning a total of $2,939 for a net loss of $5,021. The next year I wagered a total of $6,535 while winning a total of $1,990 for a net loss of $4,545. In 2019, however, I managed to finish in the black, after wagering $5,485 to win $6,054 for a net gain of $569. So far in 2020, I have wagered a total of $1,740 while winning a total of $790.60 for a net loss of $949.40.

Behind those numbers, however, I can report several exciting wins as well as a bunch of funny stories, better suited for inclusion in a separate chapter for this book. Because we’re reviewing my wins in this chapter, I can share my best “win” of any poker tournament. It occurred in 2019 at the World Series of Poker (WSOP) in Las Vegas, and actually ranks as quite an accomplishment.

You must realize that the WSOP is not a single event but a carnival of card games, with hundreds of tournaments running simultaneously every day for several months. When you watch the WSOP on television, you’re only watching one tournament called the Main Event in which the entry fee is $10,000 and many of the players are professionals who only play poker for a living. I don’t play in that event. But I have played in special tournaments such as the Seniors for players over 50 with an entry fee of $1,000. I haven’t cashed in any of those. In 2019, however, I paid $250 to enter a tournament with 936 players and finished tenth to win $2,109.

This tournament lasted 15 hours, so my hourly rate would have been $140. But it provided some exciting moments. You can’t win any of these tournaments without getting lucky a few times during the games. My signature hand occurred about three hours into the tournament when I wagered all my chips (“All-in!”) after receiving a pair of kings in my hand. I felt strong until I heard two other players call. With all of our chips in the middle we flipped our cards. My kings easily covered a pair of sevens. But the third caller rolled pocket aces, giving me the second-best hand before the flop. The flop included a seven, so suddenly my kings had fallen to third place behind three sevens and two aces. The dealer pitched a meaningless four on the Turn. But the table gasped when the River produced my third king, allowing me to triple my original stack of chips and eliminate two players from the tournament on one hand! Great fun? You bet. But don’t expect that to happen very often. I looked at the player with aces and said, “If you want justice, you’ll have to try the courthouse.”

The most disheartening part of this tournament occurred after I had collected my $2,109 for tenth place and returned to the table to observe how the final nine players would fare. I arrived just as they were deciding to go ahead and split the prize pool among themselves for about $11,000 apiece. Had I lasted one more spot, I would have covered all my losses for the previous two years! But, that’s poker. Coincidentally, my elimination came while holding a king and a nine against a player with a pair of kings. The kings giveth and they taketh away.

Before then, my best finish at the WSOP had occurred in 2017, when I entered a tournament against 1,019 other players for $235 and finished 60th to win $591. But it marked my first time to cash in a major tournament. My signature moment in that event occurred when I was moved to a new table about two hours after the start. I arrived at my new seat and placed my rack of remaining chips on the table just as the cards began to fly. Before I sat down, I peeked at my hand and saw the ace and king of diamonds. I looked up and couldn’t resist. “All-in,” I announced, adding, “maybe I won’t even have to sit down.” My new table of opponents folded around to one younger guy who sat fondling a fidget spinner and staring me down.

“So fast?” said my young friend. “I think you have kings. Is that right?”

I just smiled and stood behind my chair while he reviewed the monster stack of chips in front of his seat. He easily could call and lose without surrendering much of his stake. So, he called and rolled a pair of nines. I was behind with ace high—but not for long. A second ace arrived on the flop and my pair of aces held high ground. As I raked my pile of chips to double my stack, I pulled out my chair and sat down. Fidget-spinner shook his head, spun his toy and said, “I’m not calling you again unless I have aces. Remember that!”

Is it fair to call me a winner at this game? I believe I have the skills to win when fate deals me some cards to play. I usually know what to do. But I also realize I have personality quirks that affect my skill set. For example, I am a natural born tightwad. As a result, I sometimes have trouble calling a large bet even on a minimal risk. I’m sure I have other tendencies that hurt or help, and I would like to understand those better. My self-analysis will continue.

I play regularly with a poker club in Houston composed of about forty players from several professions. We have a tournament twice each month and our commissioner maintains rigorous statistics. While all of us could afford to compete for an entry larger than the $50 used by our club—Houston Risk Management—each of us will kill to rise in the rankings. Sidelined in 2020 by the Covid-19 pandemic, we actually play more often now by going online and transferring money via Venmo. We hold a daily tournament for $30 and additional events for larger amounts.

I like to view a Holdem tournament as a single experience similar to a lifetime where survival is paramount and prosperity is a win. It includes moments when fate has control, and all I can do is react. Then it has moments when I can seize control by recognizing opportunities as they knock. And then, almost always, it will offer a moment that knocks me down offering a reminder that I can’t always dominate or think of everything. Always, however, there’s another new deal just ahead, reminding me to put that last loss aside and take another chance at survival.

HOW TO WIN?

For someone who says he does not like to brag, it sounds like I have done a lot in this post. But you asked the question and I have tried to answer in a way that will provide more than the raw statistics of winning or losing. And, if I have any conclusion about winning, it stems from the observation that almost all of my victories have occurred when I focused only on the enjoyment of an activity itself rather than the opportunity to place a winning feather in my cap. How many times above did I describe a victory that came when I didn’t even know I was competing?

 I want you to understand: You need to do the best job possible without thinking of the awards you might win. The same rule applies to winning in athletics as well, I believe. The best example springs from analyzing winning in two sports: darts and baseball. The old coach’s cliché of “Just have fun” should always work. But we all know that’s easier said than done. How can you concentrate and have fun at the same time?

 Analyzing that question for years, I finally concluded that the answer is to forget about the potential result of your effort and think back to the real reason you enjoyed the sport. In hitting a baseball, for example, the real fun comes from feeling the bat strike the ball. Standing in the box with runners on base, ignore the thoughts of glory that will come from driving them home. Do not say: “If I get a hit, we will win the game.” Instead, think about that last time you swung the bat, connected with the ball and felt that unique electric jolt of satisfaction from knowing you really clobbered it.

 I’ve experienced the same conclusion in competitive darts, standing at the line and realizing I would win the game if I just toss one dart into the bull’s eye. Instead, I should’ve been recalling the magical feeling that comes from simply achieving a bull’s eye, as if I’m not even in a game but just enjoying the challenge of hitting the bull.  I know—it’s not always so easy. But any time you can clear your mind, ignore the potential result and substitute fun for pressure, I believe you will improve your chance for success. The trick is to clearly define the reason an activity is fun. Do you enjoy the feel of putting a basketball through the hoop, or are you just hoping to win the game? If you are an actor, do you enjoy making the audience laugh or are you thinking about that Oscar?

 Analyze your activities and determine exactly why they bring you joy. That will provide your best chance to succeed.